I saw this on a youtube video.. and i was touched... it is sooo true.. i am honor to have such a influential man as my Bridegroom ^___^ ... YAY!! happy

Song of Solomon

well... this morning i read Song of Solomon. Because i want to be more in love with God. Well... ha ha ha i didn't understand 95% of the book, BUT i understand 5% and that 5% is awesome. I love it... He is so loving. ^_____________^

New thoughts...

After watching 下一站,幸福 and know more about Van Ness's background as a christian. Something came to me. If he could become so faithful with God when he was that sucessful, why am i waiting?? Why do i tell God, oh wait until my life is great and i'll follow You more and be more faithful? Because no matter how much success i gain, it means nothing. The riches of this world means nothing in God's eyes.

God, I want to be faithful now. Take my life. Take me. I don't want to make my own plans anymore. I want to do whatever you want me to do. I don't know what it is now, but I know it will be much much better than what I have planned for myself. For You will never give Your child anything that is not good. I want to be more faithful. Obey You more. Tell me, teach me, guide me, love me, and most of all be with me always, God.

I also realize one thing that 我一直堅實的. I kept saying my husband must be white. Ha ha ha, i know this is really funny. I also said, I don't like asian guys because they are not that cute and so on. But what i realize is, I truly don't think it matters anymore. I mean it is great to have a preference, but what makes the guy more attractive is if he loves God or not. A God fearing man is more attractive than a cute white guy. Because one's look will change over time, yet a man who truly loves God and follow God will be a man worth knowing.

I'm not sure if all this make any sense, but to me it does.

So here i am going to list the qualities that my future husband must have, but exclude how he will look because I believe it will change over time and over understanding each other. I am going to just list the qualities that will not change even if i turn blind.
1. He must be a God fearing man
2. He must love God more than me love anything else in this world
3. He must be full of integrity
4. He must be loyal
5. He must love his family
6. He must love kids
7. He must have a loving family who love and worship the Almighty God
8. He must be faithful, trustworthy, and caring
9. He must have a great sense of humor and understand my sense of humor
10. He must be compassionate and charismatic
11. He must know how to forgive
12. He must get along with my friends and family
13. He must have the same spiritual goals and path as me, but be more spiritually stronger than me

it feels like there are so much more, but i cannot think of it right now. I will revise and add-on if there is more. but these so far is a must. Looks... i believe God will give me a Godly man who HE believe is the right look and so on. I mean my Abba Father will 精精細選 a guy for His 寶貝女兒阿... so i dont have to be worry ^__^... BUT NO ONE IS BETTER THAN MY BRIDEGROOM JESUS CHRIST... MY ULTIMATE HUBBY!!!

battle after summer camp...

When one is at an all time high, it seems like nothing will bring one down, but after many experiences, i realize when we are so into the Lord and so crazy and on fire for Him, Satan would try to bring you down ASAP. i believe when one pass this stage, one would be even more on fire and crazy for God. So well, I am at this place right now. That a battle between the old me and the new me. The old me wants to go back to the way i was... lazy, ignorant, arrogant, prideful, and so on. BUT the new me wants to be the way God intended to create us. Dont judge others for God is the ultimate Judge. Dont be lazy for diligent people are better. Dont be prideful and arrogant and ignorant for that is how pharasees are and look how they did not understand the kindness and love of God. the new me is trying so hard to be more humble, more understanding, more like God. But old ways keeps coming back to me day after day i feel like i am turning back and day after day i feel i am pushing myself to change. Change is hard especially when one is changing for the good. And also the old me wants to go back to the old sins i have been stumbling on, but the new me wants to respect and honor God and fear the Lord. The new me is trying so hard to fight a fight that it is hoping to win. sorry to blabbling on. maybe im just tired lolz.. night

After Summer Camp...

Oh man... I know I haven't post anything for like a long time. Before, I thought this postings are useless, but I realize after summer camp, the postings are good because people anywhere in the world can see what is going on and what God is doing in our lives. This is not what i was going to talk about but it just came out lolz.. praise God!!!

Begin what I was going to talk about:

Summer camp was awesome, actually it was beyond awesome. God is amazing and He is just over the top good!
Well... at first, i didnt really want to go to summer camp, but God has a great sense of humor. I was actually the first one to turn in my forms and money. It was AFTER I turned everythign in, I decided I didn't want to go. But I felt since I paid already, I guess I'll go.
On the first day, while we were worshipping I felt this summer camp was going to be different. AND IT WAS! oh my... Sarah Yang is a crazy good speaker. She was talking about fig leaves and she shared her testimony and it was totally like me. I've sinned many times because i just want to feel loved by someone even if it was just for a few minutes, but afterward or the next day I felt AWFUL. So I was like okie God... I'm gonna try what Sarah Yang had done. Pray to you when I felt the temptation.
So the next day, we had worship and so on. But since the night before, I started praying to God about not wanting to be judging people anymore. I didn't want to judge people and I didnt want to be like a Pharisee. I didn't want to be jealous, angry, prideful, and stubborn and so on. I wanted to change BIG TIME. And guess what!? God answered the prayer. Sarah Yang was talking about living from the Tree of Life and Tree of knowledge of good and evil and their difference and so on. And in order to get the fruits of the Spirit, we need to live from the Tree of life that basically mean just have an intimate relationship with God. And that night we got married to Jesus. ^///^ so happy!!!
God is just amazing. He gave me a new heart. I mean I can go on forever, but I will do that later. For now... PRAISE GOD!!!

a dream i had on sunday night

i fell asleep on my bed and then i woke up in the middle of the night with this crazy dream... i dreamt i was at this church. This really weird church. The people in this church believe a certain clothe the buy or get from the church can heal them and all they had to do is to soak the clothe in water and wash themselves with the clothe. So i was there with Sarah and Tina, Tina stood up and said cool that is a really cool thing. And she left the church. Then Sarah stood up and asked the people why does the clothe has healing power. How do you feel when you wash yourself with the clothe. Sarah just talk and talk and asked a lot of question to stall time while Tina is outside of the church dumping out the water and the clothes from buckets. After Sarah was done with speaking. I stood up and look start at the pastor of the church and said, "God heals people in different ways. And through Holy Spirit, We can be healed with or without the clothe." So when i said Holy Spirit, the pastor looked soooo mad. so i kept saying holy spirit is God and Holy spirit will heal us. Jesus and holy spirit is one. and so on. after i said all that, the pastor gave me this satanic evil firey scary glare. and i was thinking: oh crap. and i started running away. and all the sudden i was at my old home on foothill. and i was across from my home. The pastor was driving a car and making donuts on my neighbor's lawns. so i tried to knocked on my neighbor's door so i can find shelter, since the pastor and the car is between me and my home... and no one opened the door. i just had the feeling that the pastor wants to run me over. so Tina or sarah one of them got the pastor's attention for a little while, so i can run home. when i got into my house. the pastor ran the car right into my home. my mom was mad or anything, she was just like ,"oh i guess we gonna remodel, so may, how many rooms do you want? (she asked how many rooms cuz that house was a small 2 bedroom one bath home....)

weird huh... i dono really know what the dream means.. all i kno is that pastor hate holy spirit.. if u think u kno what it means ... leave me a comment.. tell me...

time to feel and think... God has positive answers for all the negative things we have

well... i'm in my business law class. it is kind of boring, but i do believe this is a time God put in my life to help me start conversation with Him. Due to the fact that the class is soooo boring and i will fall asleep if i don't do something else... i starts to write letters to God... I dont right letters to God now because i have my laptop, but i do believe i got closer to God because of this class... ^_^ yay!
God is amazing, dont you all agree? I saw this thing on myspace bulletin...

The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him, and every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming. Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect himself from the elements, and to store his few possessions.
But then one day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, the smoke rolling up to the sky. The worst had happened -- everything was lost. He was stunned with grief and anger."God, how could you do this to me?" he cried.
Early the next day, however, he was awakened by the sound of a ship that was approaching the island. It had come to rescue him.
"How did you know I was here?" asked the weary man.
"We saw your smoke signal," they replied.
It is easy to get discouraged when things are going bad. But we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of pain and suffering. Remember, next time your little hut is burning to the ground, it just may be a smoke signal that summons the grace of God.

For all the negative things we have to say to ourselves, God has a positive answer for it.

You say, "It's impossible."
God says: "All thing are possible" (Luke 18:27).

You say, "I'm too tired."
God says: "I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28 to 30).

You say, "Nobody really loves me."
God says: "I love you" (John 3:16).

You say, "I can't go on."
God says: "My grace is sufficient." (2 Corinthians 12:9; Psalm 91:15)

You say, "I can't figure things out."
God says: "I will direct your steps." (Proverbs 3:5 and 6)

You say, "I can't do it."
God says: "You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you." (Philippians 4:13)

You say, "It's not worth it."
God says: "It will be worth it." (Romans 8:28)

You say, "I can't forgive myself."
God says: "I forgive you." (1 John 1:9 - Romans 8:1)

You say, "I can't manage."
God says: "I will supply all your needs." (Philippians 4:19)

You say, "I'm afraid."
God says: "I have not given you a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind." (2 Timothy 1:7)

You say, "I'm always worried and frustrated."
God says: "Cast all your cares on ME (1 Peter 5:7)

You say, "I don't have enough faith."
God says: "I've given everyone a measure of faith." (Romans 12:3)

You say, "I'm not smart enough."
God says: "I give you wisdom." (1 Corinthians 1:30)

You say, "I feel all alone."
God says: "I will never leave you or forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5)