Learning to be Faithful

2010-04-01T12:49:00.000-07:00

I saw this on a youtube video.. and i was touched... it is sooo true.. i am honor to have such a influential man as my Bridegroom ^___^ ... YAY!! happy

Song of Solomon

2010-03-06T15:22:00.000-08:00

well... this morning i read Song of Solomon. Because i want to be more in love with God. Well... ha ha ha i didn't understand 95% of the book, BUT i understand 5% and that 5% is awesome. I love it... He is so loving. ^_____________^

New thoughts...

2010-03-06T00:53:00.000-08:00

After watching 下一站,幸福 and know more about Van Ness's background as a christian. Something came to me. If he could become so faithful with God when he was that sucessful, why am i waiting?? Why do i tell God, oh wait until my life is great and i'll follow You more and be more faithful? Because no matter how much success i gain, it means nothing. The riches of this world means nothing in God's eyes.

God, I want to be faithful now. Take my life. Take me. I don't want to make my own plans anymore. I want to do whatever you want me to do. I don't know what it is now, but I know it will be much much better than what I have planned for myself. For You will never give Your child anything that is not good. I want to be more faithful. Obey You more. Tell me, teach me, guide me, love me, and most of all be with me always, God.

I also realize one thing that 我一直堅實的. I kept saying my husband must be white. Ha ha ha, i know this is really funny. I also said, I don't like asian guys because they are not that cute and so on. But what i realize is, I truly don't think it matters anymore. I mean it is great to have a preference, but what makes the guy more attractive is if he loves God or not. A God fearing man is more attractive than a cute white guy. Because one's look will change over time, yet a man who truly loves God and follow God will be a man worth knowing.

I'm not sure if all this make any sense, but to me it does.

So here i am going to list the qualities that my future husband must have, but exclude how he will look because I believe it will change over time and over understanding each other. I am going to just list the qualities that will not change even if i turn blind.
1. He must be a God fearing man
2. He must love God more than me love anything else in this world
3. He must be full of integrity
4. He must be loyal
5. He must love his family
6. He must love kids
7. He must have a loving family who love and worship the Almighty God
8. He must be faithful, trustworthy, and caring
9. He must have a great sense of humor and understand my sense of humor
10. He must be compassionate and charismatic
11. He must know how to forgive
12. He must get along with my friends and family
13. He must have the same spiritual goals and path as me, but be more spiritually stronger than me

it feels like there are so much more, but i cannot think of it right now. I will revise and add-on if there is more. but these so far is a must. Looks... i believe God will give me a Godly man who HE believe is the right look and so on. I mean my Abba Father will 精精細選 a guy for His 寶貝女兒阿... so i dont have to be worry ^__^... BUT NO ONE IS BETTER THAN MY BRIDEGROOM JESUS CHRIST... MY ULTIMATE HUBBY!!!

battle after summer camp...

2009-09-08T01:36:00.000-07:00

When one is at an all time high, it seems like nothing will bring one down, but after many experiences, i realize when we are so into the Lord and so crazy and on fire for Him, Satan would try to bring you down ASAP. i believe when one pass this stage, one would be even more on fire and crazy for God. So well, I am at this place right now. That a battle between the old me and the new me. The old me wants to go back to the way i was... lazy, ignorant, arrogant, prideful, and so on. BUT the new me wants to be the way God intended to create us. Dont judge others for God is the ultimate Judge. Dont be lazy for diligent people are better. Dont be prideful and arrogant and ignorant for that is how pharasees are and look how they did not understand the kindness and love of God. the new me is trying so hard to be more humble, more understanding, more like God. But old ways keeps coming back to me day after day i feel like i am turning back and day after day i feel i am pushing myself to change. Change is hard especially when one is changing for the good. And also the old me wants to go back to the old sins i have been stumbling on, but the new me wants to respect and honor God and fear the Lord. The new me is trying so hard to fight a fight that it is hoping to win. sorry to blabbling on. maybe im just tired lolz.. night

After Summer Camp...

2009-08-25T14:30:00.000-07:00

Oh man... I know I haven't post anything for like a long time. Before, I thought this postings are useless, but I realize after summer camp, the postings are good because people anywhere in the world can see what is going on and what God is doing in our lives. This is not what i was going to talk about but it just came out lolz.. praise God!!!

Begin what I was going to talk about:

Summer camp was awesome, actually it was beyond awesome. God is amazing and He is just over the top good!
Well... at first, i didnt really want to go to summer camp, but God has a great sense of humor. I was actually the first one to turn in my forms and money. It was AFTER I turned everythign in, I decided I didn't want to go. But I felt since I paid already, I guess I'll go.
On the first day, while we were worshipping I felt this summer camp was going to be different. AND IT WAS! oh my... Sarah Yang is a crazy good speaker. She was talking about fig leaves and she shared her testimony and it was totally like me. I've sinned many times because i just want to feel loved by someone even if it was just for a few minutes, but afterward or the next day I felt AWFUL. So I was like okie God... I'm gonna try what Sarah Yang had done. Pray to you when I felt the temptation.
So the next day, we had worship and so on. But since the night before, I started praying to God about not wanting to be judging people anymore. I didn't want to judge people and I didnt want to be like a Pharisee. I didn't want to be jealous, angry, prideful, and stubborn and so on. I wanted to change BIG TIME. And guess what!? God answered the prayer. Sarah Yang was talking about living from the Tree of Life and Tree of knowledge of good and evil and their difference and so on. And in order to get the fruits of the Spirit, we need to live from the Tree of life that basically mean just have an intimate relationship with God. And that night we got married to Jesus. ^///^ so happy!!!
God is just amazing. He gave me a new heart. I mean I can go on forever, but I will do that later. For now... PRAISE GOD!!!

a dream i had on sunday night

2008-11-04T07:30:00.000-08:00

i fell asleep on my bed and then i woke up in the middle of the night with this crazy dream... i dreamt i was at this church. This really weird church. The people in this church believe a certain clothe the buy or get from the church can heal them and all they had to do is to soak the clothe in water and wash themselves with the clothe. So i was there with Sarah and Tina, Tina stood up and said cool that is a really cool thing. And she left the church. Then Sarah stood up and asked the people why does the clothe has healing power. How do you feel when you wash yourself with the clothe. Sarah just talk and talk and asked a lot of question to stall time while Tina is outside of the church dumping out the water and the clothes from buckets. After Sarah was done with speaking. I stood up and look start at the pastor of the church and said, "God heals people in different ways. And through Holy Spirit, We can be healed with or without the clothe." So when i said Holy Spirit, the pastor looked soooo mad. so i kept saying holy spirit is God and Holy spirit will heal us. Jesus and holy spirit is one. and so on. after i said all that, the pastor gave me this satanic evil firey scary glare. and i was thinking: oh crap. and i started running away. and all the sudden i was at my old home on foothill. and i was across from my home. The pastor was driving a car and making donuts on my neighbor's lawns. so i tried to knocked on my neighbor's door so i can find shelter, since the pastor and the car is between me and my home... and no one opened the door. i just had the feeling that the pastor wants to run me over. so Tina or sarah one of them got the pastor's attention for a little while, so i can run home. when i got into my house. the pastor ran the car right into my home. my mom was mad or anything, she was just like ,"oh i guess we gonna remodel, so may, how many rooms do you want? (she asked how many rooms cuz that house was a small 2 bedroom one bath home....)

weird huh... i dono really know what the dream means.. all i kno is that pastor hate holy spirit.. if u think u kno what it means ... leave me a comment.. tell me...

time to feel and think... God has positive answers for all the negative things we have

2008-10-14T19:32:00.000-07:00

well... i'm in my business law class. it is kind of boring, but i do believe this is a time God put in my life to help me start conversation with Him. Due to the fact that the class is soooo boring and i will fall asleep if i don't do something else... i starts to write letters to God... I dont right letters to God now because i have my laptop, but i do believe i got closer to God because of this class... ^_^ yay!
God is amazing, dont you all agree? I saw this thing on myspace bulletin...

The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him, and every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming. Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect himself from the elements, and to store his few possessions.
But then one day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, the smoke rolling up to the sky. The worst had happened -- everything was lost. He was stunned with grief and anger."God, how could you do this to me?" he cried.
Early the next day, however, he was awakened by the sound of a ship that was approaching the island. It had come to rescue him.
"How did you know I was here?" asked the weary man.
"We saw your smoke signal," they replied.
It is easy to get discouraged when things are going bad. But we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of pain and suffering. Remember, next time your little hut is burning to the ground, it just may be a smoke signal that summons the grace of God.

For all the negative things we have to say to ourselves, God has a positive answer for it.

You say, "It's impossible."
God says: "All thing are possible" (Luke 18:27).

You say, "I'm too tired."
God says: "I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28 to 30).

You say, "Nobody really loves me."
God says: "I love you" (John 3:16).

You say, "I can't go on."
God says: "My grace is sufficient." (2 Corinthians 12:9; Psalm 91:15)

You say, "I can't figure things out."
God says: "I will direct your steps." (Proverbs 3:5 and 6)

You say, "I can't do it."
God says: "You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you." (Philippians 4:13)

You say, "It's not worth it."
God says: "It will be worth it." (Romans 8:28)

You say, "I can't forgive myself."
God says: "I forgive you." (1 John 1:9 - Romans 8:1)

You say, "I can't manage."
God says: "I will supply all your needs." (Philippians 4:19)

You say, "I'm afraid."
God says: "I have not given you a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind." (2 Timothy 1:7)

You say, "I'm always worried and frustrated."
God says: "Cast all your cares on ME (1 Peter 5:7)

You say, "I don't have enough faith."
God says: "I've given everyone a measure of faith." (Romans 12:3)

You say, "I'm not smart enough."
God says: "I give you wisdom." (1 Corinthians 1:30)

You say, "I feel all alone."
God says: "I will never leave you or forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5)

start moving...

2008-07-02T10:01:00.000-07:00

Spiritually I've been stuck for the last... i dont know how long... and now i think it is time for me to start moving again... i think God is so amazing... He know just the right time for me to get back into the right track with Him... a time that i am not a slave to my bad desires or passionate for anything in life... a time i am just stuck in quick sand and couldnt get out... and just the right time that i will do anything and give everything up to find my way to Him... And just let him guide me whereever He wants to...

this is not like all the other times before when i am passionate and then loose the fire... i can feel the difference... this is different... because i am not passionate or on fire... i am like a cold coal... and instead of suddenly light a fire on me... this time God is slowly and gently making me starts to get warmer and warmer... i dont know when he will make me burn on fire for him, but i know this process is slow and long...

Isn't God amazing? He knows the right time and the right way to make us get closer to Him. He loves us enough that if we want to explore on our own... He would let us... but when our desire for the world has died out, He will be there ... to lead us in his way again... so if that is not called amazing... then what is?

Anywayz... letz all start moving in the right direction... start a intimate relationship with our Father.. ^_^ ...

steph: you gave me ur sickness... at least a lil bit.. my throat feels so... bad... like dry and it hurts.. and i cough here and there.. ^_^ i'll live....

STEVEN HAS AN INTERVIEW TODAY!!! PRAY THAT HE GET THE JOB!!

a mission...

2008-03-23T23:13:00.000-07:00

I'm going to Hawaii in November for my cousin's wedding. At first, i just thought it was going to be a wonderful short vacation and it will be fun and amazing. But now, i know why God has provided this little trip for me and my mom and my aunts. Well, a little background check... my cousin Michelle is agnostic, her husband is atheist (basically if it cannot be proven or he did not experience it then it is not real), my cousin Jimmy doesn't really have a religion but has a very kind heart, his soon to be wife is the same too, my uncle is Buddhist, and last but not least my aunt in Maryland, she is believe strongly in the Dali lamma and stuff. She has shrines and everything in her house. Okay... background check is done. Now is the mission. Basically i was a walking purpose empty kiddo before this mission comes along and spark a little fire in my heart. I was praying for a challenge and so on. Hey God answers prayer. Here comes the challenge. I was praying with my mom and all the sudden i felt like praying for Jimmy and his wedding and this idea or revelation pop into my mind: i want them to be saved. The whole family. I want them to see God and accept Christ. So i was praying and tears came down. They are my family and i want them to see the power of God. So I believe the wedding is the perfect time. Because i'll be close to them and i can alwayz bless them with prayer especially the bride and the groom.
I think i used too many words to say one thing. Basically please pray for me and my mom and my aunts and just pray we will united together as followers of Christ and attend the wedding and just lead many to God. Bride's family are also some sort of buddhism. Just pray their lives will be transformed, not by me or anyone else, but by God. My Aunt in Maryland is very devoted to her religion. Imagine when she get touched by God and accept Christ. How many people can she influence. She can influence Jimmy and Michelle. Michelle can influence Alex and Isabel. Then their whole family will be saved. By just one person bold enough to pray for or with my aunt. (She is very very intimidating.) Pray for boldness in me and my mom and my 2 aunts, please. IF i cant even cry out for my family, how can i cry out for others? that is why God put this mission in me. To soften my heart and start crying out for others. But He knew i am really harden up but family oriented, so He place in my family in my heart. That maybe first nonbelievers in my family, then non believers in my school, then work place then everywhere. so Thank God for this wonder revelation.

Thanks for reading... i kno it is long and a bit dragging... and sry for the bad grammar and the misspell words... it is harder for me to write my thoughts down because it is all over the place......

MIRACLE!!! HALLELUJAH...

2008-03-05T22:55:00.000-08:00

I was reading my english homework and stuff and Steven was sleeping on my bed because he was going to help me with english after i finish reading... So i woke steven up to start helping me with english. When he got up, he said his rib hurts really bad and you can just see it in his eyes that when he moves or breath it hurts really really bad. His eyes would just become really really big. Anyways... so i dont like to do my homework, therefore i started praying for steven. Praying for a miracle, healing and so on. The first time, it didnt work. Then i kept praying. By the fourth time, it didnt work so steven sat up on the bed. And i kept praying. And i said to God, "Dad, i'm very stubborn and you know who i got it from so i wont stop until you give me a miracle. Plus i rather pray than do homework, so if i have to pray all night, i would do it." In the middle of trying, steven said he felt better and i asked if he is completely healed. and he said no. so i said that is not good enough, i am going to keep praying. So therefore i kept praying and praying over and over again for healing and miracle. in the middle of the sixth or seventh prayer, i told steven to stop moving his rib because i was laying hand on him and it was gettin annoying. And he stopped moving his rib until i finished praying. and i asked if he is healed. He stood up from bed and told me to go over. He gave me a hug and i was like "does it still hurt?" and he said no. I was like WHAT?? REALLY??? ARE YOU SURE?? and he said yes, it doesnt hurt anymore. So i was like yay! hallelujah. I asked him when it stop hurting and he said after i told him to stop movin his rib, he stopped and after the prayer he moved it again and it doesnt hurt anymore.

sorry for all the bad grammar and stuff... i'm too lazy to make it all pretty for ya. ^^ just praise God... BACK TO HOMEWORK wahhhhh... T_T

pros and cons of being a US citizen...

2008-02-29T19:17:00.000-08:00

i would love to be citizen i really do...
pros:
voting (my voice will be heard), becoming a citizen= i can change my name (no more chinese name how to say your name ma'am), get more variety of scholarships (some of them... is citizenship must)

Cons: NO JURY DUTY (ha ha suck to be you...)

THERE ARE LOTS MORE ... I JUST CANT THINK OF IT RIGHT NOW.....

This post is inspired by jury duty letter i received... ha ha I DONT HAVE JURY DUTY CUZ ME NO CITIZEN....

Jesus loves you all... U.S citizen or not... BUT I AM A CITIZEN OF GOD'S KINGDOM ... and that is what matter the most... ^^... are you citizen of God's Kingdom???

something i wrote

2008-02-23T14:12:00.000-08:00

My love, my darling, i will be there for you, forever.
Precious Gold from heaven and treasure of the earth cannot compare with you.
i love you forever. i want you to be with me.
forever i wish to be with you.

do you know how precious you are to me?

i would never want to see your heart get broken.

i know he cause you pain, but i

will heal it and

fill you heart with love

unitl you are content.

Jesus, you are my prince, my prince charming.

i love you, forever.

Jesus you are my prince, my prince charming.

you rescue me from darkness.

you aren't like the earthly princes

who will break my heart and hurt my soul.

you are here to protect me.

you will never hurt me or let me down.

i love you, Jesus

Thank you for being here for me at my lowest time.

you just brighten my day

thank you

be here, stay here,

please

nothing really.. just bored so posting yay!

2008-01-02T13:57:00.000-08:00

well... today... IT'S 2008... the second day of 2008 lolz... i just want to encourage all... i kno im lazy and im kinda slacking off but DONT AHHH just at least read his word... oh and im happy today... i dono why.. maybe because i was craving orange juice ever since we came back from LTC .... cuz i drink orange juice all the time while eating my meals... so i was like i want oj... i want oj... and I GOT OJ.. YAY!!! lolz... BE HAPPY....dance and dance and dance some more...

MOVING in...

2007-12-31T13:55:00.000-08:00

For the last several days, I was at LTC. I learned a lot and reconnected so much. I knew when I came back from LTC, I would start facing persecutions because after persecution there is promotion... growth and so on. But I wasn't expecting the persecution to come right away. It came... right when I sat in the car my bro driving to take me home from church. It is one thing to see the financial problem of others and say everything will be alright and God will provide. It is another when the financial problem is your family's. My bro said my family financial problem is really really big... bigger than what we expected and he just told me to prepare for major changes in 2008. My heart aches, yet with my mouth I keep proclaiming God will provide. Proclaiming with my mouth, yet my heart was heavy. When Alice went to my room to sleep for a while, I was talking to Steven about everything. Then I broke down to tears because of everything. (not about steven.. ha ha) I hanged up. Tears wouldn't stop flowing down my cheeks. I cried and cried. Just as much as I had in summer camp. It has been at least 4 months since I cried like that. Then I realize how Joshua felt. I know God will be with me and He will provide and He will protect me. But my heart felt so scared. I was terrified. I cried out to God. And cried. I was so afraid of the coming year. I felt all the fears and I can just feel and see the persecutions coming ahead. Personally, financially, spiritually, and all. I was also scared of the worst outcome which is saling mayflower house and parents moving back to Taiwan. I couldn't bare that pain and the hurt of being so apart from my mom. Cried for I think about a hour or a little more. I read the Bible at that time too. The things that came to me is what God told Joshua "Take courage, don't be terried, I will be with you" My heart was just like Joshua's. I was terrified even though I know God will be with me. But now... thinking back after a day. I am giving my all to God... and just focus on Him. He will be my guide through my life and especially in 2008. I never was this scared of a coming year... but this year I know is different. I believe at the end of 2008, I will stand on stage testified for God about all the mircles He has done in my life in 2008 and I will be a living testimony for God. So instead of fearing, I need to move in. Move into 2008. Just let it come... God will be protecting and be there for me... no more fear... Be stront and take hear and wait for the Lord.
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank You for everything. Pour down Your blessing to everyone. And just bless next year. Let us loose nobody on the battle field. Let us be strong. Next year might be the toughest year in my life and also in other's life. But WE WILL PRAISE YOU NAME and GLORIFY YOU! Hallelujah...
AMEN

GUYS, LET US MOVE IN TO 2008!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tired.... sleepy... studying... DONT UNDERSTAND

2007-11-13T03:39:00.000-08:00

I know this is my first post... yay! well, the reason i am actually posting is to avoid studying... i don't understand philosophy... the kind i am taking right now... and i don't want to understand it... stubborn i know... so be it... well the test is tomorrow... i know i wont ace it, but HOPEFULLY i get a C... it is 3:41AM... ^_^ ha ha im a procasinator... so be it.. as u can see i am going crazy right now.. lack of sleep... ^_^ kids... dont ever do this at home... it is dangerous... i mean not sleeping anywayz... ENJOY SLEEPING WHILE IT LAST because ONE DAY YOU WILL BE IN MY POSITION RIGHT NOW... muhahaha... okie im done being insane... back to study....